Sometimes, as I am going about my day I am suddenly hit with a random memory from my past that stops me in my tracks and makes me cringe. It’s like my brain likes to interrupt my perfect day by reminding me of something super embarrassing.
Most of the time these memories are silly and harmless, sometimes they are of more serious and terrible events that I try so hard to block out.
This blog has proved very cathartic in the past so I figured “Hey! Why not share these memories with the world”. And on that note, welcome to ‘Bad, awful things I did during active addiction – the miniseries’.
Let me take you back to the year 2013. My drinking hadn’t gotten super bad yet but the warning signs were all there. I’d just moved back to my hometown and my ex had reached out to me and asked if I’d like to meet up for a catch up. I was thrilled at this prospect as we hadn’t seen each other in a couple of years and I was, at this point, still convinced he was my soulmate. When he asked to meet up I saw it as my opportunity to be so charming and gorgeous and witty that he’d instantly fall back in love with me and we’d live happily ever after.
We agreed to meet at a bar in town. I got there slightly earlier and instantly necked two glasses on wine while I waited for him… Dutch courage and all that. We had a great evening, he looked as handsome as I remembered and the conversation flowed effortlessly, it was lovely. The drinks were flowing yet of course, I was throwing back glasses of wine while he was drinking beer at a normal persons pace.
As the evening drew to a close, he asked if I’d like to go back to his. Obviously I knew what this meant so I was outside flagging down a taxi before he could even get his jacket back on. However the outside air hit me like a tonne of bricks and suddenly I was feeling the effects of the many glasses of wine. On the taxi ride back to his, the driver asked for clarity on directions to which my companion answered. For some reason I decided to chime in and start arguing, for the life of me I have no idea why I was under the impression that I knew where this guy lived better than he did but I definitely sounded like an idiot.
We get back to his house and decide to hang out in his room. Now someone please tell me why I decided to walk over, scoop this guy up and body slam him over my shoulder on to the bed! 9 years later and I can’t even begin to understand my reasoning, it was the strangest life choice I’ve ever made. Luckily he laughed it off… I think.
After he recovered from my surprise wresting moves he went to pour us a nice, sophisticated glass of red wine… which I immediately spilt on the bed.
From what I can remember the rest of the night was pretty standard. I spent the night, left in the morning and believe it or not, I saw him again after that! I do have another story involving him but I’ll save that for part 2.
Thank you for reading my memoir, I hope it made you laugh a little and cringe on my behalf. Steve, if you ever read this, I’m sorry but you do have to admit it was a really impressive body slam.
Sobriety and Me 